Learning

Future.
What a very exciting and SCARY word.
At 22 years old, I feel like I'm suppose to have some sort of an idea where my life is going.
Even more than just an idea...a plan.
Plan.
Now that's an annoying word if you ask me.
Plan your life. Plan your week. Plan your day. Plan your meals. Write in your planner.
That says one thing to me.....stress.
Maybe I am just bad at making plans.
Obviously. Considering I'm 22 years old and don't have one.

Here's my "plan" for the rest of this year.
This Friday: Leaving for Rogers, Arkansas to work at Camp War Eagle until August 13th.
August 13th: coming home to Eufaula, Ok. for about a week.
After that week (I don't even know the day...maybe it's in my "planner"): Moving back to Shawnee, Ok. for my last semester at OBU.
December:Graduate from OBU.
Jan. 2012 and the rest of my life: TBA
This whole "plan" is tentative, considering plans to go to the beach get rained on all the time.
Am I right?

In recent news I do have an interview tomorrow for an internship at Dolous Dicipleship in Kansas City, MO. For a year. Working with troubled teens.
I think this could be a great oppurtunity, but I am trying really hard to not get my hopes up.
Just because I turned in all that requires in the application and I have an interview doesn't mean this is set in stone at all. There aren't that many spots and there isn't much time to fill them in.

As of now....there is no plan.
There are plenty of "maybe"s and "might happen"'s and even some "possibilites".

That's life though right? There is never a gaurantee sticker.
You can't ever bank on anything ever working out. Even in the midst of it "working out", because lives change in a heartbeat. Sometimes for great and awesome. Sometimes for hard times and tradgedy.

I kow it sounds like I'm not looking at the glasss half-full.
I'm just looking at reality.

This is my life now. I'm looking into my future and it changes all the time.
These so called "possibilities" are endless and never constant.
All I can do is trust that God has His hand in it all and I have to remember to let Him.
I am SO not in control. And why would I want to be?
I would miss out on all the surprises.
Those surprises can be anywhere from easy to difficult, but there's a reason for them all...

To learn.